Hey Wait a Minute!
by Juubi no Fenikkuso
Summary: A little list of the wonderful, annoying, and weird parts of the naruto universe. rated M because I like to swear
1. Chapter 1

Hey Wait a Minute!

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Strange and Interesting Naruto Ideas

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Disclaimer I do not own Naruto of any of its counterparts

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(A/N) yes I know the reason for several of these strange ideas don't flame me about them.I have strange thoughts running through my head all the time so except the worst. I hope you guys enjoy this fanfiction it's my first shot so here it goes! (I mean no disrespect to midgets or anyone else who may be offended by this.)

1. Naruto's age/height

Okay lets be logical about this whole thing in the series it states Naruto is 12 years old like his classmates, but at the same time it says he failed his genin test twice so he should be 14 years old which brings up the issue of height, how the hell is he so damn short if he is 14. So I submit to you the readers that Naruto's mom (Kushina Uzumaki) is a midget, making Naruto a half-midget. This explains Naruto's unusual height, and eating nothing but ramen probably didn't help.

2. Jutsu Pronouncing

Okay why the hell do they shout out the name of what they're about to use. I mean come on "I'm a stealthy ninja I'll just shout out that I'm about to shoot you with a blast of wind there is no way you will dodge or think of a counter." It even shows in the series that they don't have to say what they are going to do, for example fire jutsus, if they can shoot a giant fire ball without saying a word why don't they apply this to other techniques?

3. The focus on the emo broody bastard

Almost the entire damn series involves Sasuke this and Sasuke that, for God's sake is the series called Sasuke. No, its called Naruto who aside form the Akatsuki (who only appear occasionally) he is ignores by practically everyone. Kakashi, who blows him off for the most part, Jiraiya, who is stretched too thin with spying and the like to help him, the Sandaime who is in too much of a struggle with politics and Tsunade who is in the same boat as Sandaime. The only person who ever had time for Naruto was Iruka, who could only do so much. While Sasuke is given attention and support from everyone and he doesn't appreciate it in the slightest. Of course not he is an Uchiha he is sooooo much better than you. He even runs to an S-class missing-nin who is weaker than the person he wants to kill, and Naruto bless his soul is killing himself trying to bring him back, when in retrospect Naruto has to deal with 9 S-class ninja while Sasuke has to deal with 1 2 if Kisame is near. And guess what *Spoiler Alert* he does it.

(A/N) Sorry if I ranted but some things are just so weird and unfair I have to get it out I may add more of these depending on reviews and if I can think of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Wait a Minute!

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Chapter 2

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Disclaimer I do not own Naruto or any of its counterparts

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(A/N) It has come to my attention that due to the pathetic length of chapter 1 I didn't catch most people's eyes as a result I am going to make this chapter considerably longer so here we go again!

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4. **Kisame**

When most people think Kisame they think weird blue shark guy with the huge-ass scaly sword, but I wonder he is a weird blue shark guy with a huge –ass scaly sword.

So first question why is he blue? I have thought long and hard about this and have come to the following practical and not so practical solutions.

A. He is actually part shark his mother or father being a shark and the other human, disturbing thought but not to be discredited.

B. He's really depressed. (Get it? Blue)

C. He attempted to dye his hair and it went horribly wrong.

D. He lost a bet to Zabuza.

E. He desperately wants attention.

F. His use (or overuse) of water jutsus caused the change.

G. Or the animators ran out of skin colored paint when drawing him.

Second question what's up with the huge ass scaly sword known as Samahade? Well there are all sorts of rumors surrounding this draining sword among them that it is literally the skin of a demon taken off and wrapped around a sword. The rumors that it is made of the souls, hopes, and dreams of others have been dismissed as complete bullshit. The origins of Samahade remain unknown until I think of one that might actually make sense.

5. **Kakashi**

Yes that's right it's everyone's favorite cycloptic, gray haired ninja KAKASHI!!! (Crowd goes wild) Anyway the mystery that is Hatake Kakashi has surrounded the Naruto world. .Well lets start out with something simple, why does Kakashi wear a mask? simple that is because a scarf would look stupid and not be ninja-like. Next up how can he not trip or run into a telephone pole while reading Icha Icha Paradise?  
Well Kakashi is just cool like that and Icha Icha Paradise protects its readers. Why is Kakashi so lazy? Well it isn't that he is lazy it's just that the world is to hyperactive. Why is he never on time? He stands by the Hero's Memorial to mourn his dead friend Obito and his sensei the Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze. Kakashi isn't a bad person he just needs to let go of the past and work hard, but he is the most loved lazy-ass character. Sorry Shikamaru no one likes you, well I guess someone lies you oh well.

6**. The Replacement Jutsu **

Okay now why do people always witch with a log, I mean what did the logs ever do to them, and what do they switch with in the dessert? No logs there. If they can switch with clones, why not other humans? For example if Ninja A throws a kunai at Ninja B, then Ninja A will be hit by his/her kunai Ninja B will be where Ninja A was which unfortunately is directly in front of Ninjas D and E who will F him/her up.

7. **The Pass-Out Effect**

Whenever 2 ninjas fight if one wins the fight in an impressive way or has a huge advantage (read Kakashi vs. Zabuza round 1) then the winning ninja will pass out no matter how fine they seems to be.

**(A/N) **Well that's all for now I'm going to start work on an epic length action fic, but I have no idea how long it will take. By the way I don't hate Sasuke or Sakura they can be made into good non-annoying ninjas if the author is willing to make them so.


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